Promposals: A go-to guide


This time of year, most people must ask the most important question of their life: Will you go to prom with me? But simply asking someone that question is so 1984. One must go above and beyond to ensure that he gets the answer he is looking for. So, your friendly neighborhood news staff is here to help you with all your promposal ideas.
First, you can combine both a fundraiser and a prom ask. For just the cheap price of $490, you can purchase all 35 necessary pastries to earn yourself two prom tickets. Then, go to your prospective date’s house and spell out “PROM?” with all 35 of the pastries you purchased. This really is the perfect prom ask as you get to pay for your prom tickets while you ask. Cost-effective? Yes. Delicious? Yes. Maybe even celebrate with a chipotle run with the $5 gift card you earned from the pastries. Roll out the dough and get asking.
“I know most girls don’t ask, but if someone asked me like that, there’s no doubt that I would go to prom with them after scarfing down all $490 worth of pastries if they asked me like that,” said senior Jack Amendola.
Second, nothing says romance like fire. Spelling out prom in fire on the front lawn is a classic and a true winner. The key is to throw the match from a safe distance. I’ve learned from mistakes. This is as close to a sure thing as you can get for prom asks. Nothing screams prom night like misdemeanor arson charges, so get those fire extinguishers and ask the prom date of your dreams.
“Fire AND Prom? Wow, that would really be one special ask,” said senior Livi Harmat.
Moreover, you cannot go wrong with air transportation for a prom ask. I’m talking hot air balloons, blimps, the house from Up. No mistakes can be made. So why not put a couple thousand dollars towards a hot air balloon and glide gracefully down to asking that special someone to prom. However, not all agree with this theory. So, maybe use this one as a backup plan.
“Hot air balloon is such a stupid idea. Who would ever ask like that? That’s ridiculous. If anyone asks me that way I’m gonna say no for sure,” said senior Julia Crandall.
Lastly, the ladies love animals, no one can deny it. However, in this social media era, does anyone really want to see another picture of a dog or a cat? Absolutely not. So, the ideal ask should feature an animal both unique and local. Enter the raccoon. Go into the woods late in the night and pluck a couple raccoons out of the forest and keep them in a trash can ideally, but a cage works as well. Maybe even grab a skunk or two. Then, hop on over to your future prom date’s house, ring the doorbell and release the coons. Ideally, you would paint “P-R-O-M” on the raccoons but with such an amazing ask, a poster could work just as well. Either way, a perfect way to ask someone is just strolling through the forest waiting for you to scoop it up.
“That might be the greatest idea I’ve ever heard. A nice furry raccoon is the perfect way into a woman’s heart. I might have to wrassle up Old Dan and Little Ann and start hunting for coons tonight,” said senior Nick Disanto.
With all these great ideas now, go get out there no need to wait any longer. Good luck and happy promposal season.